Kind of a big, gray, blob.

Pinchy @ 35 weeks. He was being uncooperative.

To Infinity…and Beyond!!

I’m 35 weeks today and am headed to the doctor for an ultrasound and appointment.  Within the next 7 weeks MAX, Pinchy will be here and my whole life will be turned upside down.  We’re hitting the point where if he decided it was time, nothing would be done to stop him from showing up.  I mean, I could cross my legs, but I don’t know that that works all that well.

But there are big doin’s afoot in the household.  The nursery, in all it’s colorful glory, is basically done.  I am in love with the orange/mango/Thai restaurant color on the walls.  Not everyones taste, but it’s fun and bright and whimsical to us.  And the room will transition nicely from baby room to kid room with lots of space on the floor to play.  The room comes complete with a white rocking chair (spray painted garage sale find–$15 bucks for the chair AND paint!!), an absolute necessity for late night nursings and cranky moments.  We still need to find some decorative things for the wall.  I have some crafty stuff up my sleeve that I plan on trying to get done, but we’ll see.  I’ll post some pics of this all when I have a bit of time.

Max is proving himself to be the ideal BrotherDoggie.  Our new friend, 4 month old Clara, came over to hang out the other night.  She’s so much fun.  All chub and smiles.  But she had a few angry moments when she realized Mom and Dad were nowhere to be seen.  Max was quick to comfort her with kisses and sniffs, but backed off immediately when I told him to.  We were joking that those creepy Carl books were really written about Max.

It was a babyfull weekend.  On Sunday, we got to go have dinner with Matt, Kelly, Emma and iddle baby Halle (one of the easiest going babies I’ve ever seen!).  Halle was all smiles, even though she was tired.  I put her up on my shoulder, patted her 3 or 4 times and she was zonked.  There was super yummy lasagna for dinner, nice conversation about everything from baby gear to work to the challenges of new parenthood to everything else (with a random nod to ass hair thrown in to keep it real).  One of the best parts was going ”shopping” through Kelly’s maternity clothes for some generous infusions to keep me clothed for the next few weeks.  I’m wearing a lovely purple wrap top today thanks to my excursion.  Woo Hoo!  

My physical being has turned from glowing pregnant woman to swollen, bloated slug.  My feet. OH golly, my poor feet.  They are in sad, sad shape the last few weeks.  My ankles aren’t looking much better.  I had to get some OH SO SEXY compression socks to try and help out.  They kinda work…less swelling in my legs, but my feet are still puffy and feel bruised.  I’ll have to bring out the big guns–compression hose.  And wear them every day.  That is a challenge when it’s hot and I’m achy and a little crabby* already. 

*Ray–Despite the thoughts running through your head at the moment, there is no need for me to remove the “little” from that sentence.  I have been a delight and a joy at every turn.  And I’ll remind you that it’s SO much better than when I was on the drugs. –Your Loving Wife

The excessive fluid has lead to a slightly unexpected side effect–an arthritic feeling in my hands.  Overnight they’ll hurt, tingle and send shooting pains for no reason at all to the point they wake me up.  Then all day, the pain isn’t so sharp or tingly, but just a dull ache.    Makes it hard to focus at work…as though I needed one more reason.

I’m still only moderately freaked out by all the pending changes.  The worst part is the waiting and listening to this particular clock tick down.  When you are trying, your life moves in 2 week segments.  Here there are a variety of timetables, milestones, starts and stops.  But in this particular window, there is little other than the waiting.  The birth isn’t too scary a prospect (I may be one of the few people not terribly freaked out about it).  I’ve even been through it, just not from this side. :)  I know it will hurt, but pain with a purpose is easier to bear.  I think that’s how I made it through all the crazy infertility stuff, the loss, etc. 

It’s like my wedding–the day was important to me, but I had an understanding that it was not nearly as important as all the days that would follow.  Once labor starts, it’s finite.  There will be an end to it.  Motherhood stretches on and on into infinity.

Depends on what’s important to you…

Today, I accomplished something that I was beginning to suspected I would not accomplish again until Pinchy was here and well established.

I. Shaved. My. Legs.

Woo. Hoo.

I want a beautiful paddleboat, just like this one!!

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day, even after all the computer craziness.  Yes, computer is fine.  My RAM went bad, but it wasn’t my fault and I lost NOTHING.  YAHOO!

Over lunch, I had a meeting with a co-worker to hammer out the outline/structure/basics of an article we’re writing on working with people with Autism or Asperger’s in the library setting.  Seems there is a bit of a gap between some of the suggestions in the psychology literature and library literature.  In the psychology lit, it is often suggested that libraries would be ideal environments for AS (autism spectrum) individuals, but there seems to be nothing in library literature to support that or to even say “Hey, we tried it!” There are some articles about serving that population, but not on including them in the workforce.  We’re writing a “we tried it” article.  It’s super exciting to be working toward being published, especially since I’m not even a librarian .  And it’s even more exciting that it seems that no one else is doing it.  It’s been fascinating and really enriching to work with my volunteer.  I hope we’re able to continue the program. 

After that was a meeting regarding the arrangement of spaces in the building.  The discussion lead to some really exciting ideas about creating faculty space & collections on the entry level.  I think it will be a huge improvement to the library in general–making some things more accessible, allowing space for information sharing, etc..  It’s amazing, because lots of other aspects of the meeting went really poorly.  Dominance and queen bee issues were creeping up and there wasn’t much that was able to mitigate it.  So I find it surprising that something really good came out of something really sketchy.

After work was a quick trip to Target for Hospital Pillows.  Hospital Pillows?  You may remember that birth class started last night.  I determined I wanted some cheap, almost disposable, new pillows to take to class and the birth.  First, I HATE those odd hospital pillows that seem to be made of failed Nerf balls.  Second, all my pillows at home are kinda old and grungy (but I still love them…).  Third, I think it might be one aspect of nesting that is starting to turn on inside me.  I picked up some cheap pillow cases too, in a dark color.  I felt so clever!!

So…birth class…we had talked about all our options as far as what kind of class to go with.  Around here there didn’t seem to be much in the way of middleground.  There were 12 week Bradley courses, but we missed the start of the earliest one in town and would have had to travel to Peoria or Champaign to attend one.  And while I know a lot of people who have had great success with Bradley, there are a number of aspects of it that didn’t line up with our personalities. Hypnobirthing/babies seems to only be offered in more metro areas than here.  We weren’t really up for the doula option.  What we settled on was the hospital’s class with our own suplimental reading on Bradley and Hypnobirthing. 

My thought was that the hospital course would be very medically based in a “here’s what we’ll be doing to you” way, but that hasn’t been the case at all. 

First of all, the presenter, Kara, was REALLY FUNNY.  Not general presenter funny where people chuckle quietly, but actually quite hilarious.  Very relateable, not stodgey, quirky, honest, open, knowledgeable, welcoming.  I have never been to a class where everyone was so engaged.  The course is a good overview of all the options available and possible, some of the complications that could occur, a request for everyone to be flexible, focused, relaxed.  Very choice centered.  Very accepting of those who are hoping to go natural and those planning on the drugs.  All about the options… 

I have to say I’m terribly surprised.  I expected it to be a 3 week waste of time, but we’ve already gotten quite a lot out of it, including the disgusting, yet apt and funny, inside joke that the delivered placenta looks a lot like the chocolate pudding filled gourds in the Chocolate Room of Willy Wonka’s factory.   

Today is off to a better start, with the exceptions of a giant spider in the toilet, Max litter box surfing, getting a Mountain Dew from the Diet Mountain Dew button on the vending machine, having to talk to HR today, super ginormous swollen feet and tummy grumbliness.  Meh.  All little inconveniences in comparison to the big thing…Pinchy seems to be hanging out up and down.  He’s moved away from his upper right to lower left bandolier position.  Doubt he’ll stay where he is, but it is kinda exciting.  And a wee bit terrifying.  And really cool.

But technology is permanent?!?!?!?

Andi’s Morning:

Get up bright and early after a good night’s sleep.
Wonder when I will have time to talk to a friend who lives far away since I missed him again last night.
Brush hair, teeth, get dressed.
Check bloodsugar (104–no matter what I can’t seem to get it back down under 100–meds. Crap.).
Talk to my sweetie.
Get out the door a little late, but still very early for me to make up time from Monday’s doctor visit.
Stop by McDonalds for a GD friendly breakfast (yes, it’s possible).
Drive to work, marveling at how much better the drivers are at 7 opposed to 8.
Think about what a total waste of time Car Seat Class was last night and how I hope that the Birth Class tonight is better.
Know in my heart of hearts that it probably won’t be.
Get to work.
Juggle my rations to restock my desk (high protein granola bars, nuts, PB, Apples) and carry in my drinks.
Realize that despite my best efforts to cover my belly, my under tank has ridden up and my belly is showing.
Set everything down to readjust.
Manage to grab the side of my underwear instead of my jeans, pulling that up and out as a car goes by.

Sigh deeply.

Grab all my stuff and get into the building.
Set everything down and turn on the lights.
Marvel at my messy desk and how motivated I feel to clear it off.
Start jotting down things on my To-Do list.
Hit the power button on my monitor.
Am met with a frozen screen, a million lines, general wrongness.
Try to shut down with a ctrl/alt/delete. Nothing.
Try to shut down with the power button. Nothing.
Try unplugging, waiting 10 seconds, plugging back in.  Nothing.
Again. Nothing.
Call computer guru.
Leave message.
Try not to cry.
Realize all the stuff I wanted to do first thing requires my computer.  Not just A computer.  Mine.
Start a second list–stuff I should back up when I have the chance.
Talk to guru.  She has no more success than I.
Set up shop at the crappy cube next to mine.
Start trying to work on stuff.
Create a non-computer based To-Do list.
Tech guru shows up.
Reassures me that my hard drive is probably fine, it’s likely just a RAM problem.
Whew.
But it may take a day or two to fix.
Crap.

Table for Cassidy? Hopalong Cassidy?

The weekend was soggy.  Saturday was a cavelcade of driving and furniture shopping and buying apples and other shopping and wearing out my maternity jeans (actually had to buy a new pair.  ARGH.)  Sunday was full of hanging out with good friends and eating much good food.  All through the raindrops.  We don’t have anything stored in our basement, so neither of us have even checked if we got water, but our neighbors on the downhill side didn’t have any, so I’m certain we we’re fine.

The week at work is going well.  My blood sugar isn’t fairing as well.  My fasting numbers seem to climb by the day.  I have gone from the low to mid 90s to 110-120.  I’ve been eating well and my breakfast and lunch numbers are still good, but my dinner numbers continue to climb, too.  I don’t have an appointment this week, but I was told to call in my numbers. No word yet on if I’m starting meds…

While I had them on the phone, I did mention that I was having a lot of pain in my right calf.  I can’t recall injuring it in any way.  Last night, Ray rubbed it, I took a hot whirlpool bath, used a heating pad, took tylenol…and nothing.  I can point it, but flexing it in any way (even walking) hurts.  My left foot I can flex fifteen degrees or so.  My right I can barely get past the midpoint.  I am limping for the first several steps when I get up and climbing stairs is unpleasant at best.  It even felt warm to the touch.  Strange….but it was different enough and persistent enough that I thought it best to let the doc know and let her make the call if I should get tested for a clot or such.  I got a call back 5 minutes later to be at Radiology in an hour.  I made my calls, arranged to be off work, called Ray and asked if he could clear his schedule…

Anyway, the test went fine.  I don’t have a clot.  Felt a little foolish for even mentioning it, but the fact is it COULD have been something.  And it isn’t as though I’m imagining the tightness or pain in my leg.  It is still bothering me.  I’ll continue with all the stuff I tried before and work on getting my flexibility back to normal.  I still have no idea what I did, but it’s one tiny part of my health I seem to have a minute amount of control over, so I’m going with it. 

Meh. Tomorrow will be better.

Max the Banana Thief

Last night I was walking into the kitchen for my mandatory night time snack.  (Yes.  Mandatory.  It keeps my fasting blood sugar lower in the morning.  For many people, ice cream works.  Not for me.  I tried it last night and Wowsers! my sugar was bad this morning.)

Ok…got sidetracked…

Last night I was walking into the kitchen for my mandatory night time snack.  As I was about to step over the threshold, I noticed something dark and vaguely slimey looking underfoot.  I flipped on a light and discovered bits and pieces of a banana peel.  Wha?  My sleepy, rainyday mind started whirring.  Hmmm….

It could be only one culprit.  Max.  Banana Thief.  Well, thief of any kind of food.  One day I thought my farmers market zuccini were safe.  Nope.  Into the dog they went like crunchy green bones.  And there was the great cake debacle.  The August (and September!!) hot dog bun incidents.  But bananas?  In the skin?  And he left at least some of the peel?  Freak of monumental proportions.

Perhaps this will be my multimillion dollar children’s book idea.

Where is that rolled up newspaper when you need it???

Ok, so I’ve been a bad blogger (as several people have both gently and not-so-gently pointed out to me).  I mostly write this stuff down for me, so I don’t always remember that others are reading it.  I have no excuse other than I’ve been exhausted and working far more than usual.  So much so that I’ve been home the last few days to recover from a stomach bug/contraction craziness/overwork.  When I got home over the last few weeks, collapsing in a heap was the most I could manage.  Today I’m feeling much better, more like myself, more energy. 

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So, updates:

* The Gestational diabetes has been mostly under control.  I had one bad/crazy meal at Olive Garden (who knew that soup, salad and breadstick (singular) would eff up my blood sugar so much???).  My concern now is that my fasting numbers are starting to climb.  After meals, I’m doing OK, but I’ve been slipping in some carbs that seem to impact me more than others.  For example, I’ll have an appropriate sized portion of M&Ms and I’ll see crazy numbers, even though according to the dietician’s plan it should be an even swap between that and a slice of whole wheat bread.  Clearly I need to eat the healthier options.  Bleh.  Not fun when what I want is the M&Ms.

*Baby seems to be growing and growing.  He’s turned in such a way that his feet fit NICELY under my ribs.  He seems content to nap much of the day and then kick me like a soccer star for the rest of the time.  That also means that his head/hands are positioned right on top of my bladder, which has made for a few close calls.  For those of you who will ask me in person, yes, I am doing them.  Yes.  They help a lot.  If you don’t know what I’m referring to, you don’t need to.

* The study is done!! (YAY!!) Ray did a miraculous job of getting the room all set up.  The carpet/bookcases/furniture look teriffic and it has us both excited about the next projects.  The nursery is up next, but since we’re rooming in at first, it’s not vital it gets done on any time line.  Quite frankly, I’d rather hang out with him than have him work on house stuff.

* We’ve washed and sorted and put away all the baby clothes.  I love the smell of Dreft.

* I’m feeling great today.  I feel physically good for the first time in weeks.  I’ve been having lots and lots of hip and sciatic pain lately.  I hate hobbling around. Especially in the middle of the night when I have to get out of bed.  At night, when I’m having trouble sleeping, I debate which I hate more.  In the middle of the night, the hip pain is what wakes me and I hate that most, but then the sciatic pain travels down both sides of my behind when I get up, so I change my mind.  When I finally climb back into bed, I’m of two minds. 

* Speaking of getting out of bed—I have to say I didn’t realize how hard it would be to move around and get up.  I have a nest of pillows (that Ray claims push him out of bed–I’ve offered to sleep in the guest room, but he prefers to complain), but I have to use my arms to push myself into a sitting position and then swing my legs off.  If I don’t, I get shooting pains in the lower abdomen–nothing to worry about, but just some muscle strain. 

*And speaking of muscle strain, over the last week, things have shifted downward.  My few little stretch marks have blossomed into a  faint little road map on my lower belly.  And there will be times when it feels like it would feel better for me to actually hold my hands laced under my belly to hold it up.  I suppose I could get a support belt or something, but meh.  It isn’t so bad.  If it gets worse, I’ll do something about it.

* I’m 33 weeks along.  47 days to go.  I’m only mostly freaked out.  At the moment, birth is a little more overwhelming a thought than the fact that my entire life is about to change.  Until I wrote that sentence.  That clarified things quite a lot.  Now I’m absolutley more freaked out about the whole entire-life-changing thing.  And I’m sure that will continue until I start thinking about birth again…

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OK…I’ll be better now that I have my regular life balance back again.