Ok, the important things first:
My doctors appointment went GREAT. She asked me how I was feeling and I said that other than an occasional ache or pain I felt just fine…with the exception of the sinus infection I suspected I have. She asked if I was prone to them. I said no, but that I had had them in the past and I was pretty sure that’s what I had. She checked out baby, found the heartbeat, checked to make sure I was doing all the stuff I’m supposed to, verified that 3 pounds total is a perfect weight gain for the first 20 weeks and at this point a gain of a pound a week wouldn’t be bad at all. Yay!
Then she checked my sinuses. By tapping on my forehead. I didn’t mean to, but I winced and pulled away. “Yep! Sinus infection. They’re difficult to treat in pregnancy, but very common. Amoxicillin.” (Have I mentioned how fond I am of Dr. D? She doesn’t treat me like I’m an uninformed idiot.) I picked up my meds and had a nice, quiet evening on my own since Ray is out of town at his parents.
So all is well and good. I’m on the road to recovery. But the grossness lingers. This morning I woke up the the odd and disconcerting feeling that I couldn’t open my eyes. They were matted together with gunk and my lashes were knitted together. I believe my first thought was “Un-fracking-believeable.” My second thought was “And I’m home alone.” Sigh. I got up, blindly tracked down a wash cloth and managed to get unstuck. What a lovely way to start a day.
One of the usual side effects of pregnancy that seems to have skipped me is the increased frequency and reality of dreams. Mine have always been like that, so I haven’t noticed much difference. I did have my first anxiety dream the other night. I dreamt that Pinchy was here with us at home. I was trying to feed him for the first time, but he would nurse for a second or two and then would turn away and scream bloody murder. I kept trying and it wasn’t working. Then I tried to remember what they had told me at the hospital…and I realized that I hadn’t nursed him there at all. I thought back and realized that I hadn’t even held him after he was born. I had never met with a lactation consultant. I hadn’t learned a thing and I had no idea what to do. They must have fed him formula. I must have been really out of it. But no matter how I reached that moment, there I was, with a screaming child I couldn’t feed or console. Preview? I know there will be days, nights, weeks, that aren’t that dissimilar. I must say I didn’t feel particularly rested the next morning, but the dream will not compare in the least to the reality. The thought is overwhelming.
